
	If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too Wanna see how many push-ups I can do? I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry Scoring with a super model would be easy Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with 'super dumb' Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly And I don't shave my heiny Don't shave my heiny See I'm not queer I'm too ugly More lyrics from Bloodhound Gang .: A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is .: A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Cryin' .: A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying .: Along Comes Mary .: Asleep At The Wheel .: Balls Out .: Boom .: Coo Coo Ca Choo .: Earlameyer The Butt Pirate .: Farting with a Walkman On .: Fire Water Burn .: Firewater Burn .: Firewaterburn .: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo .: foxtrot unicorn charlie kilo .: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo .: Go Down .: Going Nowhere Slow .: Hell Yeah .: I Hope You Die .: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks .: I'm the Least You Could Do .: It's Tricky .: Its Tricky .: It´s Tricky .: K.i.d.s. Incorporated .: Kids In America .: Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny .: Legend In My Spare Time .: Lift Your Head Up High .: Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out) .: Magna Cum Nada .: Mama Say .: Mama's Boy .: Mope .: No Hard Feelings .: No Rest For The Wicked .: Nowhere Slow .: One Way .: Overheard in a Wawa Parking Lot .: Pennsylvania .: R.S.V.P. .: Ralph Wiggum .: Rang Dang .: Right Turn Clyde .: Right Turn Klyde .: RSVP .: She Ain't Got No Legs .: Shut Up .: Something Diabolical .: Strictly for the Tardcore .: Take The Long Way Home .: That Cough Came With a Prize .: The bad touch .: The Ballad Of Chasey Lain .: The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope .: Three Point One Four .: Turn Clyde .: Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss .: We Are The Knuckleheads .: Why Is Everybody Always Pickin' On Me? .: Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me .: Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me ? .: Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me? .: Yellow Fever .: You Are Pretty When I'm Drunk .: You're Pretty When I Am Drunk .: You're Pretty When I'm Drunk .: Your Only Friends Are Make Believe .: Your Only Friends Are Make You Believe .: Yummie Down On This .: Yummy Down On This Click here for all the other lyrics of Bloodhound Gang !

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